Joan Collins has a beauty range

There are few people I adore quite as much as Joanie. Ignore her politics for a moment and just focus on this.

Nobody does glamour like Joan.

I'm not sure anyone wears fur hats quite as well as her either. And now, unbelievable news. Wondrous news. She has launched a beauty range.

It's shamelessly gold and epic. It's how to look like Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter all packaged up. And who doesn't want to look like Alexis?

She's always been my style icon. Check out the nail varnish and lipsticks especially.

Yes, they actually say Joan Collins on them. She knows what her minions want. Bow down to Queen Joan. I am going to have to buy a nail varnish, the bottle is a work of art. I've no idea when they go on sale and who is stocking it but all I can say is that it had better be in Sephora.

Chanel No 5

This is a perfume you wait for. I have always liked it but never felt it was right for me however the other day I was in Sephora (naturally) looking for a perfume to spray on after work and before I went for cocktails. The choice is overwhelming and I sniffed quite a few but none were working for me. Time was ticking and I was going to be late so I went for the classic. I am so glad I did because I love it. Classics are classics for a reason and this is simply a beautiful scent.

Today I decided to treat myself since it was Monday and I've just had a pay day and well, damn it, I wanted it. So back to Sephora I went (a hardship I know) and I picked up a little bottle (the exact one above in fact). I am now wafting around in a cloud of Chanel No 5 and feeling super classy. It's hard to feel anything but fabulous when you are wearing Chanel. It's not a perfume for when you are 21, it's one to turn to as you get older and begin to realise that your grandmother was actually a bit of a style icon.

Bite me

Imagine a world in which you can have an exact lipstick made for you that nobody else owns and suits you perfectly. Welcome to Bite, beauty nirvana.

I read about this on various beauty forums and knew I had to go. My friend has just been in town and so we hot footed it there yesterday. It started as a pop up but now happily is permanently on Spring St in Soho. Here's how it works, your consultant sits opposite you and asks what type of colour you are after. I said an every day wearable red. You can have various finishes: matte, satin, glossy and so on. I chose satin. Then she starts mixing various pigments.

It's truly fascinating. She puts a little bit on a brush and you try it on, wandering round the shop to look at it in various lights. Alas, yesterday I faced a cold hard fact. I am not a red lipstick kind of girl. I wish I was and I want to be but anything too bright on me makes me conscious about my teeth - are they too yellow next to the bright red? I manage to smear it on my teeth. Basically I am a disaster area and I look like I am trying to be a grown-up. So we ditched the reds and started again. She couldn't have been more patient or nicer about it. So I asked for a rosy pink and that is what she is actually mixing in the picture above.

The colours look freaky alone but once she mixes them, basically anything is possible. Obviously the colour complements your skin tone as well. My pink was mixed and back in my comfort zone I was happy. We agreed that the colour was right for me and she then mixes up a larger batch.  You can choose a flavour too! I went for mint. My friend didn't want a scent because she is cool and a proper adult. Then it goes in a microwave.

And she pours it into case and it goes on an icy surface for about five minutes.

That's my pink on the left (it looks much brighter than it is). My friend went for a plum colour which looked amazing on her and death on me. She carefully opens the case and you have a perfect lipstick which she puts into a case (you can pick one of four, all shaped differently).

It's utterly fabulous. The lipsticks are $36 plus tax which isn't cheap but they are made especially for you and I absolutely love mine. It's not drying at all and the mint is very subtle. I have spent most of today applying my lipstick and telling anyone who will listen all about Bite.

I think this concept is genius and look forward to the same idea for nail varnish, eyeliners, blusher - oh my god, imagine! If you're in New York, you must visit this place.

Clinique Lash Power Mascara Long-Wearing Formula

My beloved Estee Lauder mascara has been discontinued which makes me angry. Even worse, I left my tube of it in London. So I simply had to go and find a replacement. I picked up this baby in Sephora on Saturday. Two days in and I can report that it's good. It's not as perfect as the Estee Lauder but it doesn't smudge and it gives good lash. It has very low key packaging but that's ok. It's a perfectly serviceable everyday mascara. It's also only $16 which I consider a bit of a bargain.

Other products I am loving at the moment include the Bourjois cream blushers. They are so easy to apply. My divine Vitazing keeps me from looking dead in this ever-lasting winter. Seventeen powder which I dust it very lightly over my eyes so my mascara sticks better. I'd be lost without it, it's a real hero product and it's cheap as chips. Kiehls 24/7 moisturiser is my new favourite, the eucalyptus smell is so heavenly. I bought two bottles at the airport as they don't seem to sell it in the shops. Dries Van Noten perfume is perfect for this cold weather. And to cheer myself up, I bought this in Duane Reade at the weekend:

Carmex lip balm in a leopard skin tube! It makes me very happy. Read about it here, fab marketing.

Sephora Jumbo Liner

I've seriously not bought anything for ages* since my commitment to use what I have. This little purchase happened before Christmas. I won't go on and on about Sephora anymore, I am becoming such a bore on the matter but god, it's amazing.

Anyway, Sephora has its own make-up line and while not cheap, it feels budget compared to Nars. These jumbo eyeliners have a lot of love online so I decided I'd buy one for $14 and I must say, I am loving it. They don't have quite the staying power of Bobbi Brown or Nars but with some good primer on, they get me through a normal working day. There are dozens of colours too. Recommended if you can get to a Sephora of course. Will it ever return to UK shores?

*with the exception of essentials. I may have bought a new mascara today and some eye-make up remover...

Pantene

It's years since I've used Pantene shampoo and conditioner but it's clear I am susceptible to advertising. I have become addicted to Hulu since moving to New York. It's an online TV service and I am ploughing my way through Grey's Anatomy like my life depends on it. Anyway, it has adverts that you can't skip and there is a Pantene one featuring Gisele. I have no time for Gisele and her yoga poses with her baby but one has to admit, she is beautiful. There is no way on earth my hair could ever be like hers but there I was in the shampoo aisle debating over which to buy and somehow my hand reached for this.

I am annoyed with myself for buying into the advert. I don't even kid myself thinking my hair will tumble luxuriously as a result of using this and the conditioner. However, I must say I am enjoying it. My hair does feel smooth and shiny. It smells good. It's cheap. Basically, it's a win.

Have I stuck to my no-buy January? Well, yes and no. OK, no, not exactly. I bought a new hairdryer - the one in my apartment broke and life without a hairdryer is unthinkable. It broke while I was sick so not only was I confined to my bed, I was confined to my bed with frizzy BAD HAIR. Horrors. I also bought an eye pencil from the Sephora range because I read it was a good dupe for the Charlotte Tilbury eye crayons and in my logic, that was actually saving money. More on that in a future post. And I bought a hair product my sister is raving about. Again, more on that soon when I've tested it further.

New year, new shower gels

January is here and I am on a saving money mission. Next week we finally move into our new house and we all know owning property basically means never having any money, ever again. It's one of the reasons I've delayed doing it for so long. So, I looked at my enormous pile of make-up and beauty products and thought, maybe I should just try and use up some of all this before buying more. Radical I know.

However, before I made that decision, I ordered this divine shower gel in the Cult Beauty sale.

This shower gel is what the Metropolitan hotel in Bangkok stocks and I can honestly say it is heaven. It is expensive but for special treats or just when you feel the need to be transported somewhere that reminds you of lemongrass scented towels, then it's worth the money.

I also bought CoverBoy this for his birthday in December.

Molton Brown is a slightly annoying brand. I don't think it's half as good as it seems to think it is and I find many of the scents cloying but this one is so refreshing and perfect for the winter months.

Finally, I also got this in the sale.

I've not tried it yet but how can it fail? Miller Harris and orange scented. Mmmmmm.

I shall let you know how my self imposed embargo goes. I'll still be blogging, rediscovering old favourites and possibly being more creative with my make-up. For someone that owns so much of it, I do tend to go for the same look over and over again.

Happy new year fellow beauty obsessives!

Diamancel Foot Buffer

For years I've avoided buying this even though I knew it would be good because it's £40 and it's the most unexciting purchase ever. Then I saw it was in the Cult Beauty sale for £19 so I snapped one up (having looked at my poor, dry feet) and I've just used it for the first time.

I can only call what happened an epiphany. My feet are soft as a baby's with such little effort. This tool is essential if you suffer from dry feet. It's a miracle worker. Everyone needs one. I am stroking my feet and marvelling at such smoothness.

The bad news is that it's no longer available at Cult Beauty but honestly and truly, spend the money. You won't regret it I promise.

Laser hair removal

The delightful topic of body hair is one I've not mentioned before. Not because I am smooth skinned, untainted by unwanted hair. Ha! No, because it's not glam and it's such a bore. Waxing, shaving blah blah blah. All of it is annoying and makes me want to stab those blondes who have a whisp of hair and complain about it. I am dark haired.

After more than 30 years of battling with my body hair I made a decision this year. It was going to be The Winter Of Laser. My sister had her legs lasered a few years ago and going in the sunshine with her now is an exercise in smugness (her) and pure envy (me) as she shimmies into her bikini smooth as can be while I sport red bumps and ingrowing hairs. Enough already!

I decided my six months in New York could not be all about shopping (only because my credit card couldn't stand it, I could totally shop for six months) and so I decided the time had come. Laser hair removal is expensive but there are bargains to be had and indeed within two weeks of being in New York, Gilt City (a version of Groupon) had an offer for Bliss hair removal at 40% off. It's such a complete bargain I can hardly believe it. I bought a session of five full leg treatments (which includes mild bikini line - nothing freaky) for about $1600 or so (I actually can't remember how much it was but worked out it was about £900). Back to the Bliss mothership I went my legs freshly shaved for my first session. By the way, you do have to go on for a patch test before your first session.

Just so you know, it hurts. Do not be fooled. In places it is excruciating. In other places I barely feel it. This depends on each person, what my sister found painful doesn't hurt me and vice versa. When it hurts, I find myself clinging to the bed, gnashing my teeth cursing about a) being a woman and b) caring about body hair. It takes about an hour to do both legs (including toes!) After the first session I looked like a plucked turkey and my legs were very itchy. This is normal. I applied copious amounts of body cream. The miracle is it works immediately, I already had obvious bald patches. Back I went five weeks later for session two. I was told it would hurt less each time. A lie. I went with raging jet lag and forgot to take ibuprofen beforehand (do this as it makes a huge difference) and the technician made the current stronger. I am quite good with pain, bikini waxes don't bother me at all. I have a tattoo. I am not a wuss. This bloody hurt.

However, the pain is completely worth it. By April my legs should be hair free and I can't wait. I am considering booking several holidays in very hot places and packing only bikinis. It's so liberating to be hair free and yes, it shouldn't matter and yes, it's madness to have to spend so much money and go through pain for beauty but you know what? I don't care. I wish I had it done years ago. I shall keep you up to date with my quest for smooth legs.

In other Bliss news, I went to the London spa to have a Shellac manicure today and it really is leagues better than the New York ones. The staff are lovely, they pay such close attention to the treatment and my manicure is better than the ones I've had in New York. I am still reeling than London does this better but there you go. Also, it was free as I had built up sessions on my loyalty card. Much happiness.

Bobbi Brown Smokey Eye Mascara

Much woe, Estee Lauder has discontinued by beloved Doublewear mascara. They still do DW but it's not the one I love and adore. I knew this would happen, I finally find my desert island mascara and they do away with it. I bought this new Bobbi Brown one to see how I'd get on. Meh, it's ok but it's not even in the same league as the Estee Lauder one. My one faint hope is I might be able to stock up while I am back in London as they are running down stocks.

One is not amused.

Christmas gift ideas

I am a little late with my list this year but if you are a traditional last minute shopper, then here is my list of gifts I'd love to find under the tree.

Bliss is still one of my favourite brands. The eye masks are truly miraculous. I have invested in a job lot of these as I am flying so much. They are perfect when you have a hangover as well.

The Bliss shower gels are my staples and I adore them all. The new Grapefruit one is gorgeous.

YSL nail varnish is blowing my mind. It's very treaty, looks gorgeous and is a cinch to apply.

I have bought many eyeliners this year and my favourite is this one from NARS. I pretty much wear it every day. Easy to apply and stays put all day long.

I also covet the Bobbi Brown Smokey Eyeliners. These look gorgeous and if I could justify buying yet more eyeliners...

My favourite moisturiser discovery this year is the Kiehls 24/7 Activated Moisturiser. This smells like absolute heaven and it makes me feel happy just to put it on. I highly recommend this.

Yet again I will say that a Tom Ford lipstick would make anyone happy.

And the Bumble and Bumble DrySpun Finish is fabulous. I succumbed and got some of this and it's the best hair product I've used for ages. It just makes your hair all oompy and full.

The Chanel cream blush made my year, finally they released a cream blush and it was worth the wait. And of course it looks fabulous on your dressing table

Finally, if you love Moroccan Hair Oil for the scent then I am reliably informed this perfume smells the same. Etro's Shaal Nar. I've not smelt it but it's top of my wishlist. Jenni, this one's for you!

Merry Christmas to you all. May your Christmas day be filled of beauty wonder.