Bliss Fully Loaded Facial

Today I skipped off in the torrential August rain for my Bliss Fully Loaded Facial as mentioned last week. The Spa is on Sloane Avenue and given that I have no sense of direction, I managed to get lost and it was raining in a biblical manner so I hopped in a cab for a four minute journey. I arrived fraught and damp but was soon soothed by this fabulous place.

This is a spa to end all spas. Never mind my cosy little facials down the road for a fraction of the price, this is where the serious moneyed come to maintain their glossy good looks. From the minute I entered, I felt like all was going to be well. I was ushered downstairs with my printed itinerary. Lockers were stocked with white robes, a towel and a bottle of water. I changed and waited in the Bliss Lounge which had every single magazine you could ever want to read and a plate of cheese and fruit, brownies, some super-healthy cold tea bursting with antioxidants and various other goodies. I managed to have some tea before the impossibly beautiful facialist (darling) came to collect me.

The room I was shown to was lovely and she told me to get into the bed and make myself cosy. The bed was heated underneath - heavenly. She came back in and proceeded to ask me the usual questions about my diet and skin routine. She did some preliminary investigation of my face and declared I'd be ideal to have a peel - not a chemical peel, some Japanese mushroom thing. She must have seen me coming. It cost an extra £50. At this point, I am entranced so I said yes (bearing in mind a large proportion of the cost was a giftcard). She went away and came back with some vial of elixir which she applied to my visage.

What followed was literally dozens of applications of unguents on my face and decolletage, waiting for various amounts of time and then being taken off with scented hot flannels. While the potions were working I was treated to arm and hand massage, foot massage, shoulder massage, head massage and she put a hair mask on me too. It was utterly over the top and of course I loved it. There was one bit I didn't like, she went away and came back in with some rubberised potion and said close your eyes and then put it on, it was very heavy and basically sets on your face and you cannot open your eyes with it on. I suddenly felt very claustrophobic and sweaty. I told her I didn't like it and she very sweetly said she could only remove it when it set. This made me feel worse. So we had a rather awkward five minutes of me trying to calm down and her giving me an extra foot massage before it was peeled off.

To the extraction. I've never had extraction like it, she used some electronic thing all over my face (no idea what it did) and then a plain old blackhead remover but oh my word, she was thorough. She went behind my ears. Who knew I had blackheads behind my ears? Actually, nobody would ever know but I am pleased to report they are now gone. She practically went up my nose, in my ears. No square millimetre was left untouched.

At the end she consulted with me in the lovely big light mirror in the changing room, looking at all angles of my face, to check I was happy. What service! Then I showered with gorgeous Bliss products (to get the gunk out of my hair) slathered myself with their expensive body lotions, used their state of the art hairdryers (totally need one of them) and downed a bottle of water - very dehydrating having a facial.

Upstairs she'd picked out products to try and sell me (they sell more than Bliss and use more than just Bliss in their facials which I think is nice) but honestly, it was more than enough money for one day so I resisted. She gave me a load of very generous sized products though and I swung out feeling like a million dollars. Oh, and my skin is properly glowing - not red at all from all that extraction work.

Upstairs was amazing. It's where they do manicures and they have television screens playing Sex and the City episodes which is kind of obvious but nonetheless, quite cute.

The whole experience was sublime, I've never had a facial like it. I want to move in for a weekend and have every treatment. If you aren't lucky enough to be given a gift card and feel like spoiling yourself, I can't recommend it highly enough. It's rare for a spa to be so normal and down to earth and yet make you feel really special. Bliss gets it just right.

I am already plotting a future visit.